Empowerment or Exploitation? Addressing Sexual Misconduct in Combat Sports

We need to talk AND do something about something that’s somehow become so pervasive and normalized in combat sports spaces. It’s enraging how often people in positions of power protect abusers instead of holding them accountable. Incidents ranging from verbal microaggressions to outright violence are far too common, and it’s time to confront the toxic culture that enables this. When victims of sexual assault turn to gym owners or coaches for safety and support, they’re often met with indifference—or worse, loyalty to the abusers. It’s clear that, in many cases, connections and reputations are valued over the safety and dignity of their students.

When a high-profile case hits the surface, the outrage is swift but temporary, limited to a flurry of social media posts expressing shock and solidarity with the victims. But behind closed doors, the cycle continues: predators remain in positions of authority, gym owners protect their reputations, and members stay silent out of fear, loyalty, or indifference with phrases like “but that has nothing to do with me”.

This pattern of behavior can’t be excused anymore. This issue is not going to fix itself, and it sure as hell won’t be solved by empty words online. Real change requires everyone in the combat sports community—from gym owners to the newest members—to take an active role in creating safer environments. It means holding abusers accountable, supporting survivors, and refusing to be complicit through silence. Those who turn a blind eye are complicit in upholding a culture of abuse.

The Disconnect Between Promises and Reality

Combat sports and martial arts gyms are often advertised as spaces of empowerment, respect, and community. The promise is clear: join us, and you’ll learn how to defend yourself, build confidence, and be part of something bigger than yourself.

These spaces are supposed to be safe havens where discipline, camaraderie, and mutual respect reign supreme. But there’s a massive disconnect between these claims and the lived experiences of many who train there. For some, the martial arts experience is far from empowering; it is a place where boundaries are crossed, abuse is normalized, and predators are protected.

How can we talk about “empowerment” when victims are routinely silenced or shamed into hiding their trauma? How can we preach “respect” when those in power dismiss allegations, excuse predatory behavior, and allow abusers to keep their positions without consequence? This isn’t just hypocrisy; it’s betrayal. When the very places that promise to make you feel stronger end up making you feel vulnerable and unsafe, it’s a heart-wrenching punch that leaves lasting scars.

The reality is, too many of these spaces often fall devastatingly short of the values they claim to uphold. Many gyms that pride themselves on respect are the same places where women and marginalized individuals are harassed, belittled, and sometimes outright assaulted by those who are supposed to be their mentors and teammates.

The impact of harassment and abuse ripples out, affecting the entire community. The mental toll on victims is profound, often leading to anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a loss of trust in the very spaces that are supposed to feel empowering. This kind of environment doesn’t just erode individual well-being; it also undermines the gym’s overall health. Members who feel unsafe or unsupported are more likely to quit, taking with them not just their presence but also their contributions to the community.

It’s a reality that too many gym owners overlook; if the moral imperative isn’t enough to drive change, consider this—your gym’s financial stability depends on creating a safe and supportive environment. Protecting abusers isn’t just a betrayal of values; it’s bad for business. Retaining members and fostering a healthy, engaged community requires more than just good coaching; it demands accountability, respect, and a commitment to doing better.

The Normalization of Abuse in Sports

Sexual harassment and abuse in combat sports don’t exist in a vacuum—they’re deeply rooted in toxic gender dynamics and power imbalances. The overwhelmingly male-dominated nature of these spaces often results in a culture where misogyny is normalized, and those who hold power exploit it. But it’s not just about gender; it’s about how abuse intersects with race, sexuality, and other marginalized identities. Women of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, and those with less social capital are often the most vulnerable, facing not just the initial trauma of harassment or assault but also the compounded isolation of being ignored, dismissed, or actively silenced. Recognizing this intersectionality is critical—combat sports can’t just be safe for some; they need to be safe for everyone.

One glaring example is DJ Jackson, a well-known figure in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, who pled guilty to third-degree sexual assault of a 16-year old years ago. Despite this, he continues to find employment within the BJJ community. Even when his behavior goes beyond sexual misconduct, like stealing money from customers (1, 2), it’s his skills and fight resume that get the attention, not his history as an abuser. The fact that he assaulted a 16-year-old girl doesn’t seem to matter when it comes to hiring decisions. This pattern of protecting talent over prioritizing safety is disturbingly common.

And it’s not just high-profile cases. In many gyms, when a member or instructor is accused of harassment or assault, the response is often dismissive. “That’s messed up, but he’s my boy,” is a real statement made by a head coach after a gym member mustered the courage to report being raped by an instructor. How many times do we need to hear versions of the same story? Abusers are shielded because they bring value to the gym, whether it’s financial, social, or reputational. Meanwhile, survivors are left feeling isolated, invalidated, and betrayed by the very community that’s supposed to have their back.

The Silent Epidemic: Fear, Isolation, and Complicity

One of the most insidious aspects of sexual harassment and assault is the silence that surrounds it. Survivors may choose to stay quiet, not because they want to but because they feel they have no other choice. They fear backlash, judgment, or not being believed. In a community that emphasizes loyalty and toughness, speaking out can feel like breaking an unspoken code. There’s a fear of being labeled a troublemaker, of losing training partners, or of being ostracized entirely.

Even when survivors do speak up, they are often met with responses that range from apathy to outright hostility. Some gym owners, coaches, and fellow members choose to side with the accused, either out of loyalty, disbelief (ie, “He’s not that type of person”), or the misguided idea that keeping things quiet is best for the gym’s reputation. This kind of response not only silences victims but also sends a loud and clear message: your safety and well-being are less important than protecting the status quo.

This culture of silence isn’t just harmful; it’s dangerous. It creates an environment where predators feel emboldened, knowing that the odds of facing any real consequences are slim. It isolates survivors, making them feel like they’re alone in their experiences. And it perpetuates a toxic cycle where abuse becomes normalized, and accountability is nothing more than an empty word.

Accountability and Responsibility

It’s natural to feel uncomfortable when these issues are brought up. But that discomfort shouldn’t be directed at the survivors who speak out or the people highlighting the problem—it needs to be aimed squarely at the actions and culture that allow abuse to continue. When we feel uneasy, it’s often a signal that something is wrong, that there’s a disconnect between what we claim to stand for and the reality of our spaces. It’s easier to look away, to say, “This doesn’t happen here,” or to get defensive when someone shares a difficult truth. But those reactions are part of the problem. They contribute to a culture of silence, shame, and complicity.

Instead of directing that discomfort toward those who are brave enough to speak up, channel it into holding abusers accountable and making your gym a safer place. Discomfort is not a sign to retreat—it’s a call to action. It should motivate you to confront harmful behaviors, question why these issues persist, and push for change.

Be uncomfortable with the abusers, with the systems that protect them, and with any complacency that allows this behavior to thrive. Recognize that standing with survivors and addressing these uncomfortable truths is the only way to create the respectful, empowering environment that combat sports promise but too often fail to deliver.

We all have a role to play in breaking this cycle. Combat sports gyms aren’t just places where people train; they’re communities. And like any community, they’re shaped by the actions—or inactions—of their members. It’s not enough to be outraged when news of misconduct surfaces online. Real accountability requires ongoing, proactive effort, not just performative outrage.

Gym owners and coaches need to step up. That means creating clear, consistent policies around sexual harassment and assault, and making sure everyone—from the newest member to the most experienced coach—understands them. It’s about setting boundaries and expectations from day one. It’s about having protocols in place for reporting misconduct and ensuring that these reports are taken seriously, investigated thoroughly, and acted upon swiftly. Gym owners need to foster an environment where survivors feel safe speaking up, knowing that their voices won’t be dismissed or buried to protect the gym’s image.

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And it doesn’t stop there. Gym owners and members also need to hold themselves accountable for the culture they create. If you’re turning a blind eye to problematic behavior because it’s easier than addressing it, you’re complicit. If your response to an accusation is to downplay, dismiss, or defend the perpetrator because of their contribution to the gym or your personal views of them, you’re part of the problem.

While immediate responses to harassment and abuse are ideal, real and lasting change comes from a commitment to ongoing evolution to change what is insidiously normalized. Policies and protocols are crucial, but they are only the starting point. Gyms need to go beyond reactive measures, embedding respect, consent, and accountability into the fabric of their culture. This means regular staff training, open dialogue, and a willingness to adapt and reassess constantly. It’s about creating an environment where everyone understands that safety is not a box to be checked but a continuous effort. A culture that respects boundaries and prioritizes consent doesn’t just prevent abuse—it builds a stronger, more connected community where every member feels seen, heard, and valued.

Editor’s Note: As mentioned earlier, gym owners who turn a blind eye to harassment and abuse aren’t just risking their moral credibility; they’re playing a dangerous game with their business’s future. Lawsuits, negative press, and the loss of membership can be devastating. When word gets out that a gym prioritizes protecting abusers over safeguarding members, it’s not just the survivors who walk away—potential clients, sponsors, and partnerships start to vanish too. If the ethical argument doesn’t sway you, consider the financial one: creating a safe and respectful environment isn’t just the right thing to do; it’s essential for the longevity and success of your gym. Protecting your community is not an optional add-on—it’s a necessity that affects your bottom line.

EVERYONE Has a Role

For gym members, the responsibility is just as real. Don’t wait for someone else to take action. If you see something inappropriate—whether it’s a sexist comment, an uncomfortable touch, or outright harassment—don’t ignore it. It doesn’t matter if it seems minor or if you think someone else will handle it. Speak up. Check in with the person affected. Call out the behavior when it happens. Being silent or passive because you don’t want to “rock the boat” is exactly what allows this culture to thrive.

If it still isn’t clear: Silence breeds a culture of complacency. Excuses for abusers perpetuate the problem. Ignoring harmful behavior via an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality allows it to continue.

It’s also crucial to educate yourself and your peers about the signs of predatory behavior. Pay attention to red flags, like coaches who seem to have a pattern of isolating or singling out certain members, making overly personal comments, or pushing boundaries under the guise of “training.” If something feels off, trust that instinct. Talk to others, bring it up with the gym management, and don’t brush it off as harmless or as “that’s just how they are.” Dismissing problematic behavior, even when it seems minor, creates an environment where more serious violations can occur.

If you’re a witness to harassment or assault, document what you saw and back up the survivor if they choose to report. Encourage them to speak out, but don’t pressure them if they need time. Support can mean many things: listening, validating their experience, and helping them find resources or legal support if they want it.

We also need to support survivors beyond surface-level sympathy. If someone confides in you about an experience of harassment or assault, believe them. Too often, survivors are met with skepticism, gaslighting, or questions that imply blame. This kind of response only reinforces the shame and fear they already feel. Listen without judgment, offer support, and respect their choices about how they want to proceed. Not every survivor will want to go public, file a report, or confront their abuser, and that’s okay. Your role is to be an ally, not to dictate what their next steps should be.

Possible Solutions

Change doesn’t happen overnight, but there are concrete steps we can all start to take. Here are some practical actions for gym owners, coaches, and members:

1. Implement Clear Policies and Training: Gyms need explicit policies against sexual harassment and assault. This includes clear definitions, definitions, reporting procedures, and outlined consequences for violations. Policies are not just for show; they need to be actively communicated to all members and staff. Regular training sessions should be held to educate everyone on recognizing, preventing, and responding to harassment and assault. This isn’t a one-time checklist item—it’s an ongoing commitment to maintaining a safe environment.

2. Create a Safe Reporting System: Survivors need to feel confident that if they come forward, they will be heard and supported. Establish confidential reporting mechanisms that don’t force survivors to confront their abusers face-to-face. Designate trusted individuals—preferably more than one point of contact—who are trained to handle these situations with empathy and professionalism. Make it clear that retaliation against those who report misconduct will not be tolerated.

3. Foster a Culture of Accountability: Accountability starts at the top. Gym owners and coaches must set the tone by taking all reports seriously and enforcing consequences consistently, no matter who the perpetrator is. That means no more sweeping things under the rug because the accused happens to be a popular fighter or a valuable coach. Publicly denounce inappropriate behavior and ensure that everyone knows there are real consequences for crossing boundaries.

4. Promote Visible and Diverse Leadership. One way to start dismantling the toxic power dynamics mentioned earlier is by promoting visible, diverse leadership in gyms. Women and other marginalized individuals need to be in positions of power—not just as token figures but as decision-makers who set policies, mentor members, and shape the culture of the gym. Representation matters. When survivors look around and see people like them in leadership roles, it sends a powerful message: your safety and your voice matter. Diverse leadership doesn’t just bring a different perspective; it actively challenges the old guard and disrupts the status quo that has allowed abuse to fester. It’s not enough to have women on the mats; they need to involved in making decisions and policies, setting the tone and leading by example.

5. Encourage Open Conversations: Combat sports communities often pride themselves on being tight-knit, but this should also mean being able to talk openly about the issues affecting members. Encourage discussions about respect, boundaries, and consent. Host workshops or Q&A sessions where these topics can be explored in a safe and educational setting. Normalize these conversations so that they’re not just happening when something bad occurs—they should be part of the culture all the time. This proactive approach helps create an environment where people feel more comfortable speaking up and challenging harmful behaviors when they arise. It’s about shifting the narrative from reactive damage control to a continuous commitment to safety and respect.

6. No More Second Chances for Abusers: Combat sports communities have a habit of giving abusers second, third, or even fourth chances because of their skills, popularity, or connections. This needs to stop. Those with a history of sexual misconduct should not hold positions of authority—period. Their skills do not outweigh the harm caused by predatory behavior.

7. Be a Proactive Ally, Not a Passive Observer: Allyship isn’t just about being there when things go wrong—it’s about being proactive every day. Bystander intervention training equips gym members with the tools to recognize, respond to, and prevent harassment before it escalates. Training sessions should be a standard part of gym culture, empowering everyone to play an active role in maintaining a safe environment. Allyship means speaking up against sexist jokes, checking in with someone who looks uncomfortable, and challenging problematic behavior even when it feels awkward. Being an ally is about action, not just intentions. It’s about taking a stand, not just when the cameras are on, but in the quiet, everyday moments that define a gym’s culture.

8. Take Legal Action: Sometimes, gym policies and community standards aren’t enough. Too often, these incidents are kept “in-house,” with the assumption that the gym can handle it. But sexual assault is a crime, and it should be treated as such. Encourage survivors to seek legal advice and support them in pursuing justice, whatever form that takes.

Be the Change

It’s easy to express shock and outrage when stories of sexual misconduct surface in combat sports. It’s easy to post a status, re-share an article and add your voice to the chorus of condemnation. But real change requires more than online outrage.

We can’t just be horrified when these stories come to light—we have to act long before they hit the headlines. While the attention can spark outrage and pressure gyms to act, the real challenge is maintaining that accountability once the headlines fade. Gyms need to understand that public accountability doesn’t end when the story stops trending; it’s about demanding continuous accountability, transparency, and a real commitment to safety from the spaces we support.

Every one of us, whether we’re gym owners, coaches, or members, has a responsibility to create an environment where everyone feels safe and valued. This means having the uncomfortable conversations, addressing the issues that may make us squirm, and standing up against the normalization of harassment and abuse in our communities.

Change won’t happen overnight, and it won’t be easy. There will be resistance, discomfort, and challenges along the way. But we can’t shy away from that. The cost of inaction is too high. Survivors, and the next generation of athletes, deserve our support. Our communities deserve to be free from the threat of abuse.

Turn the outrage into action. Let’s create spaces that truly embody the values of respect and empowerment gyms claim to uphold. This means advocating for survivors, holding abusers accountable, and fostering a culture where every member feels safe, respected, and supported.

Make a Difference

We all have a part to play in eradicating sexual harassment and assault from combat sports. The work is not glamorous, and it won’t always be popular, but it is necessary. We can no longer afford to be bystanders or accept the status quo. It’s time to challenge the narrative, break the silence, and hold each other accountable.

Let’s stand together, not just in outrage but in solidarity and action. Let’s demand better from our gyms, our coaches, and ourselves. Together, we can ensure that combat sports truly become a space of empowerment, respect, and safety for everyone involved. It’s time to make this change happen—not tomorrow, not next week, but now.

Directory of Gyms

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the prevalence of abuse in combat sports, but there are gyms out there setting a powerful example of what it means to truly prioritize safety and respect. Here are a list of gyms that have taken the Muay Ying pledge to implement robust reporting systems, enforced strict no-tolerance policies, and fostered open dialogue about consent.

Other Resources for Coaches, Gym Owners, and Business Owners

1. Off the Zone: Trauma-informed teaching for martial art instructors and athletes. Currently 3 online courses are available.
2. Conscious Combat Club: “By teaching combat in a conscious way, guided by trauma-informed principles, we aim to help people expand their window of tolerance.” Online and in-person training and a course available for coaches.

Stories from the Community

Submitted experiences, posted with content

Full 1

We had a coach who was a bit loose and friendly with some students. Generally seemed like a good guy. One student he paid a lot of attention to was a HS friend of his wife. One day in class they were discussing the differences of BJJ and MMA. Somehow, in the middle of class, this led to him tackling her and putting his bodyweight to hold her down in a very inappropriate position and manner. Not at all like BJJ. I stepped in and told him to get off of her. She tried to play it off like she wasn’t offended, but never came back to class. I was later asked by staff, who weren’t there at the time, what happened. Shortly after that a new coach was teaching and we were told he wanted to work on him insurance business. He’s since coached at other places and even sent me messages to come train with him, while bashing the school I was at. He’s well respected in the community and is known for being outlandish. The female student started having substance issues, was arresting to DUI, and died in jail about 18 months ago. Son’t know if any of it is related, but I was led to believe so without outright slandering the coach. The whole issue was largely swept under the rug, mostly because the school didn’t want the liability.

-matthew

Full 2

I would like to share a Story, which happened to a 19 year old girl back in 2017 in burklek muaythai gym in lampang, Thailand. We both came from Germany for a month of fight Camp. The gymowner came after a couple.if days in the room of the other girl, closed the door and tried to rape her. After she started screaming for help, I came infront her door and started knocking the door heavily. The guy opened the door, while she was sitting on her bed and cried. I confronted the gymowner with his action but he denied it and left. We immediately booked a flight ticket for the following morning, went to his wife to tell her the story, but she didn't believed us and didn't wanted to give us our money back. Unfortunately this guy cooperates with many Germans gyms although with the one of the biggest muay thai scenes in Germany. He got invited year after year for seminars and workshops. I tried to tell everyone the story, even my old coach but no one believed it. I stopped training in this gym and unfortunately it made me feel uncomfortable in this sport.. so I stopped it completely, since I started 2 years ago. Since then I realised that he still get booked a lot, so I started a new try, to reach gym owners and tell them the story and now I'm so happy, that I saw your post and I really hope, that I can reach more and more people and create more awareness.

-Miriam

Full 3

I was consistently harassed for months by a man at my gym. I made it clear his advances were not welcome, he continued to pursue me persistently. I reported it to the owner and head trainer. I told them it made me uncomfortable. They told me not to partner with him during class. That was it. I left a few months later for a new gym and then was accused of poaching other female members because they had experienced similar issues and I told them it was why I left.

-anonymous

Full 3

I used to train at Kaizen MMA in Falls Church, VA. I worked with this coach for years and he coach turned out to be a sexual predator. I was one of 5 assaulted, including one minor. When it came out, it was brushed under the rug and no action was taken. That was 2020. I left the gym and moved on as best I could. I tried to speak out recently but was shut down by one of the owners of Kaizen MMA. They got my post removed and I had multiple people reach out to me telling me not to throw dirt on the gym’s name…I did report to the police in 2020 but there was no follow up

-Sarah B.

Full 3

outside of the gym, me, a coach, and a few other gym members hung out and went out for drinks. the coach and another gym member became very intoxicated; i was drinking, but maintained my senses. we ended up going to a karaoke bar, where the coach proceeded to sit next to me and tell me that "he wanted me," followed by sticking his hands down my pants and touching me. i froze in the moment, but was able to text another group member that this was happening. i got up, confused over what had happened, and tried to leave. the coach was still very intoxicated, and i felt bad and offered a ride home to him. as i dropped him off, he proceeded to make out with me. i pulled away after that - the only thing i could muster up to say was this can't happen, you have a girlfriend. my therapist has suggested that that might've been the only thing I could say to stop what was happening, in the confusion of the non-consensual acts.

the next morning, the coach texted me saying "i know I fucked up, but if you could not tell the owners of the gym, I would really appreciate it." I texted back essentially "no guarantees on I won't tell them." The coach replied with "I understand." We had no more contact after that. Two days later, I told the gym owners what happened. They said they were devastated it happened, since they had daughters of their own. The coach also came in to talk to them to share his side of story and claimed that I had been "giving him flirty looks across the gym" throughout the week, so he thought something was there (which, I deny happening). But, they said since it happened away from gym property, there was nothing they could do besides hope the coach quit on his own terms, and they could share his schedule with me so I could avoid the gym then. While I suppose they had their hands tied from a management perspective, it was still disappointing to hear this response/lack of action. The coach did quit on his own, actually; however, it was never addressed. People would constantly ask around where he went, and no-one said anything. In that sense, it seemed brushed under the rug.

ultimately, this was one (of many) reasons I ended up leaving this gym - i stayed for about a year after this incident.

-Anonymous

Full 3

The gym is bushido muay thai (it may be under a slightly different name today due to a change in gym owners). I started training there in the later half of 2020 and had no prior martial arts experienc in my life up until that point. Within the first month of training there, an older man who was about 40 years old asked me out on a date DURING TRAINING. at the time i was 20 years old and did not have any close friends in the gym yet but i knew i was in the right place as far as training goes. The gym owner’s wife (gym owner aka head coach) was very welcoming and encouraged me to fight. i was excited because even though i was far from ready to start fighting/competing, she still was very welcoming in pushing me to come everyday.

that man that asked me out on the date while being partnered up for drilling, disappeared shortly after that and i didn’t mention it to anyone again for a few months. I started going very consistently 5 days out of the week and got close with other consistent members/fighters that were at the gym often and things were good. even several months later when i brought it up though to my head coach at a small group gathering at his house, he kind of chuckled it off . granted he inquired more about that man just to try and put a name to the face but it didnt require him to take any action or implement further rules regarding dating around in the gym. it was around that same time when he let me and other important members/figures in the gym know that he decided to separate from his wife of 20 years. Initially i laughed in his face with him while others were looking at me with a dead straight face (like —>😐).

Once she left the gym, things took a turn for the worse but very gradually.. I didnt ask many questions because im the type of person that meets people exactly where they meet me and if they feel they can trust me with something important then i’ll listen more intently and give advice if asked !— Not to get side tracked but that part needed to be mentioned just because later he’d (head coach/gym owner) end up trauma dumping /over sharing with me in exchange for pads or private training sesh. So a few months after announcing he was separating from his wife he brought along a girlfriend of his and would train her over the competition team and would delegate his class or start it and let it run itself while he’d be in the downstairs part of the gym training her. We all thought it was a peculiar change in behavior given he was a married man and gym owner for at least 5 years at that point and in the gym running the majority of classes twice a day.

The most he’d say about dating within the gym is that “it never works out “ (slightly also referring to his then current situation of separating from his wife of 20+ years). No policies put in place and as the year flew by he was in the gym less and less. He went from coaching twice a day to maybe showing up to class for 2 hours out of the week. He’d tell us he’s back like normal for good and talk about breaking up with his girlfriend so he could be in the gym more but wouldnt follow through on his word.

He eventually told us he was thinking about selling the gym and living in thailand instead of coaching but then he met a different fighter who didnt train at our gym but was very talented and nearing a pro debut. They hit it off at a fight event up the state and were basically inseparable from then on. He told us for months that he was getting in car troubles like getting into car accidents, tickets fir speeding, car breaking down, and would use that as an excuse to not coach. We then saw he was training regularly with that fighter girl who he eventually soft launched as his girlfriend and a few months after jumped ship and left the muay thai gym in miami to coach at her gym 4 hours north of miami.

There were other instances when I felt pressured by him to listen to his life issues or girl drama just so i could catch the chance to better myself through a private session. Some flirty comments would be made to me as well when things werent going well with his nonfighter girlfriend—like sexual nuances about my body or jokingly “sleeping/getting” with me which i did not like or appreciate at the time and have to react with no reaction at all so he’d think i wasnt going to entertain convos or jokes like that .. THIS was all so i could continue growing as a fighter and get the coaching i needed to keep improving. Once i noticed he’d be coaching his new fighter girlfriend and not coaching at the miami gym, I decided to leave and after 3 years of dedicating most of my time, energy, moneys, and efforts to this gym and the head coach, all he had to say to me was “ok”.

This was because after realizing everyone had an issue with him because of his lack of coaching and running the gym, he thought everyone turned their back on him and he’d act paranoid around everyone, not even just the fighters noticed this. This may have been a bit of oversharing but i hope i filled in mist of the gaps as to why he did not implement rules regarding dating within the gym. In the beginning it didnt seem like many bad apples and that if there were any ever that’d end up training for a bit at the gym, they’d always weed themselves out.

The aforementioned above is about my personal experience training at bushido muay thai in miami, florida. The gym i worked/trained at [Vice City Striking] was a product of people leaving Bushido because of the lack of head coach. There is still no structure or policy regarding dating or inappropriate behavior but the gym owners (of vice city striking) run a pretty tight gym and hopefully can and will act if anything harmful or predatory were to ever occur.

-Anonymous

Full 3

I started muay thai when I was 16 at a predatory gym and my coach groomed and sexually abused me until I was 18. He was about a decade older than me and definitely used his age and experience with fighting to intimidate me and keep me quiet and submissive. He also liked to sexually humiliate me in front of other members of the gym. The sexual abuse would happen at the gym during and after hours and he would also take me to his house. When I finally got out of the relationship, I went to the administration for help, and they effectively told me it was my fault for being "jailbait," and that they'd kick me out if I told the police. This coach also began to physically abuse me after I left the relationship in front of the class, so I had to leave the gym. I'm at a new gym now and much happier, but I would love it if I could help make sure this never happens to anyone else in the sport.

-Lily

Full 2

I entered into a consensual relationship with a fellow member of the gym. He also taught class once a week. There were a few distinct acts and many minor behaviors that occurred during our relationship. To name a few, he put my life at risk by sleeping with other folks without protection and lied to me about this.

Additionally, he was driving me home from watching a team member fight and hid his intoxication from me. On the way home he stopped at a gas station, purchased alcohol, and proceeded to try and drink this while driving. I intervened and was met with anger. It was the scariest and most uncomfortable drive home. Throughout our relationship, he manipulated his position in the gym to isolate me when I tried to speak up for my personal boundaries.

It took me a year to come forward to my coaches/owners of the gym. All I know is that they had a discussion with him, he maintained his place on the fight team, and as an instructor. I regularly had panic attacks at practice when he was present and was left to deal with this alone. I ended up leaving the gym and taking a large step back from training. It took me almost another year to reclaim my relationship with Muay Thai. To have coaches who preach that I was family but then continually expect me to train in an environment that was beyond uncomfortable to me while he faced no repercussions and was able to take up space irreparably damaged my view of those coaches and by extension the team I was meant to be apart of.

I carry this experience with me and it has impacted my training and ability to connect with gym members. It is lifelong work that I have to do to overcome this while he walked away unscathed and his life unchanged. This is a sad reality those impacted by these situations face in Muay Thai, sports, and the world.

-Kiki