Signs a Gym is Actually Women-Friendly (And Why It’s More Complicated Than You Think)

One of the most common questions I get is: “Do you know any women-friendly Muay Thai gyms?”
I wish the answer was as easy as handing you a list. But here’s the truth: what makes a gym “women-friendly” isn’t as simple as having a few women on the mat.

It’s one of the most basic and understandably asked questions. It comes from those completely new and wanting to start their Muay Thai journey, as well as from seasoned practitioners looking for a change in environment but unsure of what to look for before forking over high monthly training fees. Yet, it’s also a question that’s deeply nuanced and difficult to answer.

Having been in Muay Thai myself since 2012 (training, fighting, and teaching in gyms across the U.S. and in Thailand), I’ve trained at gyms that made me feel respected, challenged, and valued. And I’ve been in ones that made me painfully aware that I was “the other” in the room. I’ve also watched friends have their passion for the sport crushed because of unsupportive environments.

As Jeannie Nguyen put it in an Instagram post on this topic, combat sports gyms aren’t always the most welcoming spaces for women. I agree, and that’s putting it mildly. In fact, Jeannie’s post is great; it went over some simple ideas that anyone can use as a starting point to decide if a place is welcoming and safe for women. It also inspired me to finally address this topic myself.

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A post shared by Jeannie Just Jeannie (@jeanjeanjeannie)

The reality is layered, and if we stop at surface-level signs, we risk missing the deeper issues that can make or break a woman’s training experience. In this article, I’ll break down why the question is so complex, what you should really be looking for, and then give you a starting checklist you can use when evaluating a gym.

Note that this article is meant for gyms outside of Thailand, but there are still lots of overlapping points you can use when looking for a Muay Thai camp in Thailand that veers more “women-friendly”. Please also remember that many gyms don’t intentionally try to create unwelcoming environments. As I’ll discuss further in this article, knowledge and awareness are the first steps to making positive changes.

Seeking Gym Recommendations for Women

Let’s get this out of the way early. Blanket recommendations like “You should train at [X Gym], it’s the best!” without any context are… not helpful.

When people ask for gym recommendations, they’re often hoping for a quick, universal answer. But what’s “best” for one person can be a nightmare for someone else. Your background, goals, prior experiences, trauma history, and even your comfort level with different training styles all matter. A gym that’s great for an experienced fighter might be completely overwhelming (or even unsafe) for someone brand new. And in the Muay Thai space, I’ve found that inclusion is often used as a buzzword.

Sometimes, people recommend gyms because they see women training there, without asking why those women stayed or how they’re treated. Other times, they recommend a gym simply because it’s popular, has a fighter they admire, or produces champions.

But none of that guarantees a healthy environment for you.

This is why I rarely make gym recommendations myself. Instead, I encourage people to think critically and evaluate a gym based on their own needs, comfort level, and the quality of the environment. The only exceptions to this are in cases when I know someone, their training experience, and Muay Thai goals.

Inclusion ≠ Equality

Having women present in the gym doesn’t automatically mean the environment is equal, and it certainly doesn’t mean the gym is advocating for women’s advancement in the sport. Sometimes, a gym will look inclusive from the outside because there are women training there. But scratch the surface, and you might find tokenism, performative gestures, or even a culture that quietly pushes women out.

In my own career, I’ve trained at gyms where the women were always paired together, regardless of size, skill, or fight experience, while the men were paired thoughtfully based on those factors. I’ve been in spaces where male coaches gave 90% of their attention to male fighters, leaving female fighters to be coached by other women (often with far less experience). I’ve also seen women spar each other far harder than necessary, not to challenge each other, but to “prove” themselves in an unhealthy, competitive way.

Real inclusion means women are treated with the same seriousness, receive the same coaching attention, and are given equal opportunities for advancement in training and competition, without having to constantly prove we deserve to be there. Be aware of places that have have inequality wrapped in a friendly package.

When Women Contribute to the Problem: Internalized Misogyny

One of the key phrases I see time and time again with the discussion of gym culture and inclusion is, “Just look for gyms with women there.” While it’s a great starting point, that alone is not enough. And this next point is uncomfortable to talk about, but it’s necessary: sometimes, women contribute to the very barriers we’re trying to break. And often, it’s not because they’re “bad” people – it’s because society and the systems in place have conditioned us over our lifetimes to think and act in ways that protect the status quo. This is why the presence of women is not enough for a place to qualify as “women-friendly”.

One of the clearest examples of this in Muay Thai is the “One Seat at the Table” fallacy.

The “table” is a place of power, influence, or opportunity. It can be: the one and only slot for a women’s bout on a fight card, the coach’s inner circle, a sponsored athlete spot, even the unofficial title of “woman fighter in the gym.” The “one seat” is the single position for a woman that a gym, promotion, or community decides to allow.

When it’s believed there’s only one spot available for a woman to belong in a male-dominated space, every other woman becomes competition. It creates a scarcity mindset – not because we want to tear each other down, but because we’ve been told there isn’t enough space for all of us to succeed.

In practice, this looks like:

• Women sparring way too hard with each other in a non-constructive way, as if they’re fighting for that invisible spot of “the toughest girl in the gym.”
• Experienced female fighters avoiding giving tips to newer women because they fear being “replaced” or losing the coach’s attention.
• Women with influence in the gym gatekeeping opportunities instead of sharing them, sometimes without even realizing it.
• Women saying they choose to only train with men because other women are too “catty”.

The saddest part? These dynamics rarely exist in the same way for men. Men don’t walk into the gym wondering if there’s “already another guy” who’s filled the role they’re allowed to occupy. No one asks men how they are supporting other men at the gym. Their access to opportunity isn’t treated as scarce. Male solidarity is built into the culture; it’s called the fight team, the brotherhood, the network. And this is something that many men in the community fail to grasp when talks of fairness and equality are brought up.

I’ve personally been on both ends of this “one seat at the table” experience, and I’ve seen it happen to close friends, too. No one is immune to the lifetime conditioning of societal expectations and all the messaging we’ve been told about gender roles and “where belong belong”. But it’s up to us to be self-aware and push back on these deeply ingrained beliefs.

We need to create a culture where we actively champion one another, moving beyond the idea that there’s only one spot for us. It means celebrating our colleagues’ successes without feeling threatened and using our influence to open doors for others. Ultimately, it’s about recognizing that our collective strength is far more powerful than any individual gain, and that true progress happens when we lift each other up. The fix isn’t to fight harder for the single seat. It’s to reject the idea that only one exists.

1. Demand more seats at the table. If you’ve earned a position of influence, use it to bring others in. Recommend another woman for sparring in fight camp. Share your contacts. Speak up when a coach or promoter keeps repeating the same tokenistic patterns.
2. Build a new table entirely. Sometimes the problem isn’t the lack of seats – it’s the table itself. In those cases, we need to create our own spaces where women can thrive without scarcity: from all-women fight promotions to gyms with equal pay and visibility for women coaches, to communities that welcome all women, including trans women, without question.

Internalized misogyny in Muay Thai isn’t always loud or obvious. It’s often in the quiet ways we’ve been taught to compete for limited space instead of demanding more of it. But if we can recognize the “one seat” trap for what it is, a tool to keep us divided. We can stop playing that game entirely. And when we do, the table gets bigger, stronger, and better for everyone.

Leadership & Gym Culture Matter The Most

All the women-focused programs and gym recommendations won’t matter if a gym’s leadership doesn’t actively cultivate a safe and equitable space. A gym’s true culture, the one that will ultimately support or fail women, is defined by its actions, not its marketing. Culture is not what they say, but what they do when no one is watching.

A gym’s leadership sets the tone. If coaches ignore unsafe sparring behaviors, tolerate sexist remarks, or consistently overlook women for advancement opportunities, those actions (or inactions) send a clear message: this space isn’t truly built for you.

From my own experience, I’ve learned that the strongest indicator of a gym’s culture isn’t how they welcome you on your first day. It’s how they treat you after the “new member shine” wears off. Assuming you are giving your best effort, are they still invested in your growth six months in? A year? Are they still matching you appropriately in sparring, giving you meaningful feedback, and pushing you to improve? Or are they letting you stagnate because they never saw you as a serious athlete to begin with?

A gym’s leadership is like the captain of a ship. They decide the destination, set the course, and determine how everyone on board is treated along the way. And if the leadership isn’t committed to creating (and maintaining) an equitable environment, no amount of “women’s programs” will keep the ship from veering off course.

So, when evaluating whether a gym is truly women-friendly, look past the marketing. Pay attention to the coaches’ everyday actions, the way they respond to conflict, and how they invest in the women on their team long-term. This may take more time than a simple checklist can offer, but that’s where the real story lives.

Advocating for Change

Changing gym culture isn’t just the responsibility of women (and it doesn’t mean hating men or treating men the same way women have historically been treated). True equality benefits everyone. When gyms make equality the standard, men also win. They’re freed from outdated ideas of “manhood” that push toxic, ego-driven behavior. They can train in an environment that values skill over dominance, respect over hierarchy. This, in turn, contributes to healthier training cultures where support and community growth takes center stage, rather than ego being the driving force.

That said, men still hold the majority of power in Muay Thai (as head coaches, gym owners, promoters) which means male allies are vital. Men who speak up, set the tone for respect, and actively support equality help create real change.

So… What Does a Women-Friendly Gym Look Like?

If you’ve made it this far, you (hopefully) now understand why this question is a difficult one to answer. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here’s a starting point, a quick checklist (that includes a few points from Jeannie’s post) you can use when evaluating a gym.

The Bottom Line

No gym is perfect, but there’s a huge difference between one that’s trying, and one that’s content with surface-level inclusion. A truly women-friendly gym is one where you’re challenged, respected, and given the same opportunities as your male counterparts, not just tolerated as a paying customer.

That said, this isn’t as simple as ticking boxes on a checklist. Some gyms aren’t “there” yet but are actively working toward building a better culture – and they’re the ones deserving of respect and consideration. Some will make mistakes, but own up to them, learn, and do better – they’re the good ones too. On the flip side, there are gyms that might look perfect on paper, fit every criteria you’ve ever seen in a “green flags” post… and still not feel right to you in person.

Finding a truly suitable gym takes time, patience, and some trial and error. I hope this article can encourage you to dig deeper, ask better questions, and pay attention to the things that actually matter for your safety, growth, and well-being.

If you’re a student, you can be part of that change by supporting your teammates, speaking up when something’s wrong, and seeking out spaces that align with your values. If you’re a coach or gym owner, you have the power to set the standard, to create a training culture that’s safe, challenging, and empowering for everyone.

And for all of us, no matter what we identify as, the question is worth asking:

Does my gym help me become the best version of myself, or does it limit who I can be? Does it also help others do the same?

I had a few people share Jeannie’s post with me. One well-meaning person even said, “I was gonna send ythis to you for confirmation.” And while I’m flattered that people look to me to “vet” the legitimacy of a post like hers, it also highlights a really complex dynamic. It positions me as a final authority when the reality is far more nuanced.

“Women-friendly” isn’t a monolith with a universal checklist. One woman might feel the ultimate sign of a welcoming gym is a dedicated female-only class, while another might prefer a fully integrated environment to test her skills. Some might prioritize having a female head coach, while others just want a gym with a strong roster of female competitors to train with, regardless of the coach’s gender.

Each perspective is valid. I can share what I personally find important, but the final judgment will always come down to what works best for you and your journey.

And if you are looking for specific gyms to start your research, I point you again to Jeannie’s post where many people have recommended gyms from their own experiences!

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